We Don't Care

Having worked in a bank for a few years now, it comes to my attention that sometimes people are confused about what to send in. Here is a simple list of what NOT to send:

1. Your Book.
Don't send us your book, we don't care, and reading it is not going to make us magically approve you loan request. I'm glad you were picked up by a publisher, but we don't care what your book says, or how great you think that makes you.

2. Your Picture.
Don't send us your picture, we don't care what you look like. We don't keep surveillance videos of who uses your card, so we don't know if they look like you or not. We aren't Big Brother, we don't live in a New World Order. We don't care.

3. Your Picture with the President.
This would seem to be a repeat of the last one, but it's not. Don't send us your picture with famous people, and then think that will substitute for what we really asked for. If we need a copy of a utility bill, George Bush isn't going to make the cut.

4. Thank You Cards.
Don't send us a thank you card when you are approved. We don't know who specifically approved you, and usually it was several people working together. Don't send a thank you, we just throw them in a box. (Banks don't believe in garbage, everything is saved in boxes and sent to storage. Including your pictures, books, and thank you cards)

5. Gifts.
This is one we get frequently, people send us gifts, thinking there is just one person who helped them, and surely that person wants a pearl necklace, or cash, or whatever. These get sent back to you with a nice note that says we can't accept gifts. We can't. We won't. We just send them back.

The moral of today's story is: When the bank sends you a letter, asking for something, send in only what they asked for. They don't want or need or care about anything else. Yes, we do like looking at copies of your power bill all day.